Answering the Call
by WarriorsSoul
Summary: Butt Lord gets a request from Call Girl that leads to a night neither will soon forget. Paring Butt Lord x Call Girl. Rated T for language


**Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or Assassin's Creed**

 **Answering the Call**

Douchebag sighed and rolled over to the other side of his bed for what felt like the millionth time that night as he heard his parents arguing from the next room.

"CUT BACK ON DRINKING YOUR DAMN WINE KELLY!" His father shouted

"ONLY WHEN YOU STOP EATING YOUR FUCKING POT BROWINES CHRIS!" His mother yelled back

"YOU'RE A FUCKING WINEO BITCH!"

"YOU'RE A LIMPIED DICK DRUGGIE!"

"I DON'T NEED TO TAKE THIS I'M SLEEPING ON THE COUCH!"

"GOOD GET THE HELL OUT!"

The door slammed shut and the sound of this father's shoes moving across the floor and down the steps was heard along with his mother's loud sobbing. Douchebag let out another sigh when his tablet rang and Call Girl appeared on the screen.

"New Kid I need you to contact Butt Lord and have him meet me at U-Storage in an hour. I think Professor Chaos is up to something. Call Girl out!" "The girl said as the screen cut to black.

Douchebag hopped out of bed and with a magical spin he was now his alter ego Butt Lord the Farting Vigilante of South Park. He was dressed as Ezio from the second Assassin Creed game for some reason. He also had a black cloth covering his eyes and hiding his identity from the public.

In a matter of minutes Butt Lord had reached the U-Storage and saw that Call Girl stood on a roof top overlooking Professor Chaos's lair. Spotting a ladder Butt Lord made his way to the roof as well. As he approached her Call Girl glanced at him.

"Hey Cutie glad you could make it." She glanced at his outfit. "I think that that outfit looks good on you." Butt Lord was glad that his hood covered his face so that the girl couldn't see his blushing cheeks. "For the past couple hours Chaos's Minimum Wage Minions have been taking canisters of something and bringing them into his lair. With Chaos involved that can't mean anything good." As she finished the last minion entered the base and the door started to close. "Come on we have to get into the base before the door closes." 

The heroes raced down the ladder and at the last moment both slid under the heavy storage door and into the Professor's sinister lair. But the two heroes couldn't see anything as the lair was pitch black. Thinking quickly the two heroes used there commutation devices (cellphones) as flashlights. Walking around the lair Call Girl saw that were surrounded by the containers that the minions had been bringing in.

"Butt Lord all these are containers of mayonnaise. I wonder what Chaos is going to use them for?"

"While Call Girl let we shed some "light" on the situation." The voice of Chaos rang out throughout the lair as the lights turned on.

In front of the two heroes were a small army of Minimum Wage Minions and behind them on a step stool stood Professor Chaos.

"Chaos what is your evil scheme this time?" Call Girl said pointing at the evil Professor.

Chaos let out a sinister chuckle. "I'm glad you asked Call Girl. You see me and my minions will use all this jars of mayonnaise to poison the town's water supply, and we will turn the clear blue drinking water into yucky pale disgusting Mayonnaise water. With no clean water the town will become un hinged and the people will go crazy, and soon the chaos will spread from South Park to the whole world. Chaos will reign Supreme!" The Professor let out a loud crackling laugh.

"What about bottled water?" Call Girl asked

Chaos stopped laughing, "What?"

"People will just buy bottled water to drink, and that will last them until the government comes to clean up the water supply." Call Girl said

Chaos looked dumbfounded for a moment, then bowed his head and stomped his foot. "Drat your right. But that doesn't mean that I still can't take down you two heroes. Minions attack!" Chaos yelled as his Minimum Wage Minions charged forward. Both heroes drew there weapons and prepared for battle.

With a cut from his knife the last minion fell. Butt Lord took a moment to rest, the fight had been tough but he was fine. Call Girl on the other hand was looking rough.

"You foolish heroes may have defeated my minions, but you face me Professor Chaos!" The villain said as he prepared to shoot lighting at Call Girl.

Eyes wide Butt Lord saw the attack coming and ran at Call Girl as he pushed her out of the way the lighting struck him instead and Butt Lord gave a pained yell as his body became slack. Call Girl let out a gasp and with a rage filled glare she turned toward Chaos. The villain let out a scared squeak as she charged at him selfie sticks swinging wildly behind her. With a kick she knocked the step stool over and Chaos fell to the floor, she started to beat him mercilessly with her selfie sticks.

"I give up you win!" Chaos cried as he curled into himself and tried to protect his body

But his words fell on deaf ears as Call Girl continued to hit him over and over. Her anger fueled by the defeat of her friend. She stopped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. The girl turned to see that Butt Lord was up. With a gesture of his head Call Girl moved and let him stand in front of Chaos.

"You guys win okay?" Chaos said

Butt Lord sighed and helped the Professor to his feet. Out of this pocket he pulled out a burrito and gave it the villain. After finishing it Chaos looked a little better. Next Butt Lord pulled out his commutator and tapped at the screen showing the time.

Chaos's eyes grew wide, "I have to get home or I'll be grounded!" He yelled heading toward the exit to his lair. As he reached the exit he turned toward the two heroes, "See you guys at school tomorrow. Wait I mean; you may have foiled me this time heroes but next time I will succeed and bring chaos to the whole world." The villain laughed as he left.

Call Girl turned to her partner, who was still wounded. "Are you okay?" All she got a nod in response. She looked around the warehouse, "We can't just let all this stuff remain here." Again Butt Lord nodded and looked around until he saw a propane tank in the corner. Grinning he pulled tank into the middle of the room and turned it on.

Butt Lord headed toward the exit and Call Girl followed. He quickly lit all of the fire crackers he had and threw into the lair and with Call Girl's help closed the door. Grabbing her hand he quickly ran and led them back to the roof. Just as they reached the roof the lair exploded creating a wondrous white orange glow across the night sky. But both heroes didn't care about the damage. What mattered was that Professor Chaos's plan was foiled.

The heat of the burning building getting to him a little Butt Lord dropped his hood, and for the first time Call Girl saw his face. She never knew his hair was red, that it was tied in a ponytail, or that he had two bangs that perfectly framed his face. The freckles on his face made him cute, but his hair made him look, while most girls would say hot, but she thought it made him look handsome. Then he turned to face her and she nearly gasped as she saw his eye closely. They were a deep green with a smidge of gray. His eyes were drawing her in and before she knew it she was standing mere inches from him. Her eyes moved to his lips, they looked so good. Without meaning to she licked her own lips.

"Screw it" She said as she pressed her lips to his.

 _Holy Crap_ was the thought that entered Call Girls mind as she her lips touch his. His lips tasted absolutely delicious, and she wanted to taste more of his mouth. She found her tongue trying to enter his mouth and after a few tries her tongue gained entrance. Call Girl was happy to report that she was right and his mouth tasted just as good if not better than his lips. As her tongue tasted his mouth she failed to notice that her hands were tangled in Butt Lord's hair. The kiss continued as she heard herself let out a moan as she felt him gentle tug her hair. Call Girl felt just like the women in the romance novels that her mom read. Her entire body felt hot and warm, but also as light as a feather and there was an intense tingling coursing through her entire body.

Butt Lord had no idea what to think as Call Girl kissed him, but soon he relaxed and responded to the kiss and felt her tongue trying to enter his mouth. Mentally shrugging he let her tongue past. A few moments later he felt her hands tangled in his hair, and he smirked and returned the favor gently tugging on her hair and felt a feeling of accomplishment when he heard her moan.

As quickly as the kiss started it ended with both heroes panting to regain breath. Call Girl brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Her face was a bright red.

"Well thanks for the help, and see you soon New Kid" She shook her head. "I mean Butt Lord." The female super hero said as went to the ladder and climbed down.

Butt Lord watched Call Girl leave and smirked. That had been his first kiss and he had enjoyed it greatly, and he knew that school the next day would be interesting. But most importantly with the memory of that kiss he would hopefully finally be able to get some sleep tonight. With that thought Douchebag headed home Professor Chaos's lair burning brightly in the background.

 **Thanks for reading, if have you any questions PM me. Please review, and check out my other stories. Also if anyone wants to draw a picture of the scene of these two kissing while Chaos's lair burns do so. Because I can't draw worth a crap You can send me fan art, questions, or comments at my twitter WarriorsSoul24. Until next time thanks for the support.**


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